ptsd

Girmel

There once was a girl

And she was normal 

Then she wasn’t 

And she was brave 

Then she was scared 

But most of all 

She aware 

That THERE

Isn’t a place she should ever step into 

Or she’ll repeat the cycle 

And she’ll 

Be spiteful 

Bc she knows better

So she got back to normal 

Then she had a nightmare 

And she wasn’t normal 

Well it wasn’t a dream 

It was a flashback 

A trigger 

But all the same 

She ran out of brave 

And her fears got bigger 

But she still didn’t go

Bc better did she know 

That if she goes 

She may never come back 

So she wipes her tears 

And conquered her fears 

So she could get back on track 

And she was normal 

Then she wasn’t 

And she started to sense a pattern

A theme 

It’s like a big scheme 

Except for why would anyone 

Bother with little old me 

She was scared 

Plain scared 

And although she knew better 

Unprepared 

And when she got there 

She just stared 

Until she crossed over 

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MitchMaxington

It is hard to be without the ones you love 

Even if it’s for the better. 

Better late than never. 

But better never, if ever 

If it means we aren’t together. 

Where are you now ?

Everywhere ?

Nowhere ?

If I scream Marco, will a Polo appear ?

I miss you always then I miss you more 

I know that you’re gone

I just can’t be sure

I still text you. I snap you. I knock on your door.

This is the moment we’ve all been waiting for. 

Now revealing God and guest staring Max

I’m unaware it’s a dream and I cannot relax

But is it ? Where are you ?

Are you everywhere or nowhere ?

Is God even real ?

Do you just see it on my face or can you feel what I feel ?

Can you heal what I feel ?

My thoughts reveal a shield behind the steering wheel.

I just wanna see you one more time. 

I thought we had more time. 

Where are you ?

I don’t know. So I drive. 

I drive and I hope I crash and I hope I see you when I die. 

But your thoughts are a shield too so I don’t even try.

I just wish you were here. Where are you ???

Can you see me crying ?

Can you see me tryna grieve your dying ?

I don’t know how. 

I thought I did bc I’ve seen death before 

I’ve kissed death before but I’m not sure now 

It’s been a while 

Why does it still hurt like yesterday ? 

Why do I see flashes of your bloody boot on replay ?

Please God PLEASE just show me the way 

I want to be okay 

I mean I’m mostly okay 

And then I get alone 

And it’s hard and I start thinking and I stop blinking 

And I’m not sure if I should be on my own. 

Where are you ? Can you read this ?

Can you show me a sign on how to defeat this ?

On how I can at least tweak 

And not into life, speak it. 

Who can I blame ? 

I’m angry. At who ? 

I don’t know. At me and at you.  

Where are you ?