Backup Plan

With your scent in my bed

And your mark on my heart 

Moments lingering in my head 

Of being doomed from the start

I knew what I was doing 

It never stopped me

You knew what you were doing 

But it’ll hurt less for you to drop me 

Bc you have back up

p.s. i’d love if you all went and purchased by poetry book or donated to my nonprofit 🙂


Love Isn't In The Air

A poem borrowed from Jas

I wish I knew what love felt like, you left before I got the chance to understand…

That love was never in the air. You strangled my thoughts and crossed the line, You trashed my heart with no beware…

A warning message could’ve implicated you as my murderer who was in deep despair, you knew all I had were my wings and a prayer…

Portrayed yourself as a angel in disguise, but you never played fair.

As I open my eyes to the new skies above, I realize you were a devil who was trying his best to care.

I wish I knew what love felt like but you left before I could understand…

That love was never in the air. You strangled my thoughts and crossed the line…

You reminded me daily that love was pain and that pain heals with time, but we both knew that was a god damn lie…

The love we had should have been EVOL…

Only then could the tables had been even…

It felt like heaven until it became lethal…

You hurt her and then came to me…

She was the prequel, Me your sequel to a story you never finished…

I call my scars blemishes.

Love isn’t in the air, we both know…

But everytime you looked my way, I’d glow…

You May have strangled my thoughts and crossed the line, but like a rose… I’ll still grow.


It is hard to be without the ones you love 

Even if it’s for the better. 

Better late than never. 

But better never, if ever 

If it means we aren’t together. 

Where are you now ?

Everywhere ?

Nowhere ?

If I scream Marco, will a Polo appear ?

I miss you always then I miss you more 

I know that you’re gone

I just can’t be sure

I still text you. I snap you. I knock on your door.

This is the moment we’ve all been waiting for. 

Now revealing God and guest staring Max

I’m unaware it’s a dream and I cannot relax

But is it ? Where are you ?

Are you everywhere or nowhere ?

Is God even real ?

Do you just see it on my face or can you feel what I feel ?

Can you heal what I feel ?

My thoughts reveal a shield behind the steering wheel.

I just wanna see you one more time. 

I thought we had more time. 

Where are you ?

I don’t know. So I drive. 

I drive and I hope I crash and I hope I see you when I die. 

But your thoughts are a shield too so I don’t even try.

I just wish you were here. Where are you ???

Can you see me crying ?

Can you see me tryna grieve your dying ?

I don’t know how. 

I thought I did bc I’ve seen death before 

I’ve kissed death before but I’m not sure now 

It’s been a while 

Why does it still hurt like yesterday ? 

Why do I see flashes of your bloody boot on replay ?

Please God PLEASE just show me the way 

I want to be okay 

I mean I’m mostly okay 

And then I get alone 

And it’s hard and I start thinking and I stop blinking 

And I’m not sure if I should be on my own. 

Where are you ? Can you read this ?

Can you show me a sign on how to defeat this ?

On how I can at least tweak 

And not into life, speak it. 

Who can I blame ? 

I’m angry. At who ? 

I don’t know. At me and at you.  

Where are you ?


Oh looky there

The tears rolling in

She’s crying again

Crybaby, crybaby

You’re so weak

You don’t even follow all that shit that you speak

All that self-love, self-care

Can’t find that crap in you nowhere

I think you like it

I think it turns you on

I think you love to have them here

But feel better when they’re gone

I think you like being alone

I think you like feeling worthless

I think you lie when you talk about your purpose

Because what purpose ?

You ain’t even that deep

Your why is on the surface

You’re a fraud

You just like to be built up

You like to feel like a god

Then you like to fall from grace

Flat on your fucking face

Then blame everyone else for being in this place

You’re ridiculous

You’re dramatic

Oh and look at this

And you’re an addict

Go ahead

Fall back into your habits

Money can’t buy love

But money buys drugs

And that’s close enough

And if you get high enough

You won’t ask why and stuff

Let the tears dry up

More brown in your cup

You don’t even like to drink

But you need fucked up

You’re pathetic

You’ll never get it


Accept it