depression

Girmel

There once was a girl

And she was normal 

Then she wasn’t 

And she was brave 

Then she was scared 

But most of all 

She aware 

That THERE

Isn’t a place she should ever step into 

Or she’ll repeat the cycle 

And she’ll 

Be spiteful 

Bc she knows better

So she got back to normal 

Then she had a nightmare 

And she wasn’t normal 

Well it wasn’t a dream 

It was a flashback 

A trigger 

But all the same 

She ran out of brave 

And her fears got bigger 

But she still didn’t go

Bc better did she know 

That if she goes 

She may never come back 

So she wipes her tears 

And conquered her fears 

So she could get back on track 

And she was normal 

Then she wasn’t 

And she started to sense a pattern

A theme 

It’s like a big scheme 

Except for why would anyone 

Bother with little old me 

She was scared 

Plain scared 

And although she knew better 

Unprepared 

And when she got there 

She just stared 

Until she crossed over 

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Love Isn't In The Air

A poem borrowed from Jas

I wish I knew what love felt like, you left before I got the chance to understand…

That love was never in the air. You strangled my thoughts and crossed the line, You trashed my heart with no beware…

A warning message could’ve implicated you as my murderer who was in deep despair, you knew all I had were my wings and a prayer…

Portrayed yourself as a angel in disguise, but you never played fair.

As I open my eyes to the new skies above, I realize you were a devil who was trying his best to care.

I wish I knew what love felt like but you left before I could understand…

That love was never in the air. You strangled my thoughts and crossed the line…

You reminded me daily that love was pain and that pain heals with time, but we both knew that was a god damn lie…

The love we had should have been EVOL…

Only then could the tables had been even…

It felt like heaven until it became lethal…

You hurt her and then came to me…

She was the prequel, Me your sequel to a story you never finished…

I call my scars blemishes.

Love isn’t in the air, we both know…

But everytime you looked my way, I’d glow…

You May have strangled my thoughts and crossed the line, but like a rose… I’ll still grow.

Don’t You Dare

I’ve been okay on my own

Who the hell are you to come along

Fucking shit up

Mixing up my plans

Inserting hope into the path where I had a one way ticket to-

I don’t even like to talk about it.

I wasn’t gonna talk about it because it was done.

Finito.

Finished.

El fin.

Then YOU, stormed in here smiling, goofin’ off

Being sweet and shit.

Taking my breath away, sweeping me off my feet and shit.

Who the hell do you think you are ???

Maybe I like being angry.

It’s familiar…

Reminds me of the parents I lost.

The siblings I once had.

My inevitable destination.

Maybe I wanted to be a ball of fury to blend into the hell I know is waiting for me on the other side.

Nigga, HOW DARE YOU !

Waltzing in here with a fire extinguisher like you own this bitch.

Like you pay some bills around this mothafucka.

I should slap you in yo mouth.

With my mouth of course.

I’m pissed but I wouldn’t dare treat you like these other mothafuckas.

Not even after you started reminding me of them.

You’re really different, even when the fuck up kinda looked the same.

I’ll give you that.

Because see…

I’ve had people thinking they’re the HBIC or the Big Dawg before waltzing in here before

But not with no fire extinguisher.

They brought fans, gasoline and more fire with their interruptions.

When I fell asleep in anger they put my thumb in my own mouth to coddle myself but when I woke up reminded me of what they did for me.

Now that’s fucked up.

A hell waitin’ on them too but a different kind.

My anger is more like a righteous indignation.

My past did a number on me.

I know most everyone can rightfully say that but yall got single digits, mostly self-inflicted.

I’m in the hundreds with it because of a hand I was dealt in a game I ain’t even ever wanna play.

HOW DARE YOU ?!

Don’t you dare come any closer.

I’m not comfortable with that.

I just might swing on that ass.

I know there’s a wide range of emotions but I only needed ONE.

I’m safe with one. This one that’s familiar.

And here yo happy ass come making me smile bringing in love and all that mushy shit.

Saying how natural it feels.

BOY IF YOU ONLY KNEW HOW UNCOMFORTABLE THIS WAS !

I’d say it was scary but I ain’t no hoe.

I take fear on the chin.

When it hits me, I eat that.

But this ?

I don’t know.

I don’t want you to leave but shit.

How dare you. I should smack you in the mouth, boy.

Oh, Wow – Series Part 10

Damn that’s it ?

No good byes 

No why’s 

No damn what the fucks

Just… *poof*

You disappear into thin air 

Did you ever care ?

She said you have no friends 

I think about it now and again 

What were we doing that whole time then ?

We all know I have a thing for sociopaths 

Maybe our paths

Only crossed 

From the calculated moves of a so called boss

And you used me 

But as the plot thickened and you bruised me

So easily 

You threw me away ?

Not a single “please stay” ?

What were we doin’

Sometimes I feel like it was my fault but apparently there was nothing ever there to ruin

Like, oh. Wow. 

  • Your Warrior