With your scent in my bed
And your mark on my heart
Moments lingering in my head
Of being doomed from the start
I knew what I was doing
It never stopped me
You knew what you were doing
But it’ll hurt less for you to drop me
Bc you have back up
p.s. i’d love if you all went and purchased by poetry book or donated to my nonprofit 🙂
I’ve been going through
You just go around it
We end up in the same spot
Now you mad astounded
You tried to shortcut
Not realizing it’s a myth
Now you fucked up
Asking for another fifth
You might think I’m worst off
Because we’re in the same place
But baby, first off, we not in the same race
See this is my starting point
And you’re already through
I’d rather be in the joint
Than be anywhere with you
How could I be so stupid
But how could you be so ruthless
How do you lie just like you’re breathing
Deceive as often as you’re eating
Smile as you watch me bleeding
How ?!
How could you
I get my best from you and my worst from you
We were all given the short end of the stick
It’s generational
You passed that stick to me even shorter
Because I was born wrong
Wrong gender
Wrong timing
Wrong name
Inconvenient
You even realized you had me with the wrong person
You let us know at every turn
That we ain’t good enough
Maybe that’s where I learned to strive for men who are unavailable
Maybe I have daddy issues even tho my daddy was there the whole time
I never told you this but
I’m not even mad at what you did to me
I was scared
Who’s ever seen such a tiny body hurt so badly ?
What if I didn’t make it
You taught me mental illness even though I couldn’t understand it yet
You taught me what it means to be black in America
You taught me capitalism at its finest
You taught me how to point out flawed systems
Spoiler alert: it’s all of them
You taught me what value is
You also taught me paranoia
You taught me how to endure abuse and still smile
You taught me that God will ignore my prayers
You taught me that I’m not worth time, only expensive things
You taught me oxymorons
Did you know I find myself going for broke boys because money ain’t never did shit for me ?
Not really.
It only taught me what’s real and what isn’t.
Money doesn’t fix the emotional scars from a Tasmanian like ass whoopin
Money doesn’t stop alcoholism that leads to violence and makes me run like a chicken with its head cut off to hide all the weapons I could find before tucking myself quietly in a cabinet.
Money doesn’t cure cptsd
Money didn’t stop your son from…
Maybe I’ve said too much
Maybe I’m a little angry
Damn that’s it ?
No good byes
No why’s
No damn what the fucks
Just… *poof*
You disappear into thin air
Did you ever care ?
She said you have no friends
I think about it now and again
What were we doing that whole time then ?
We all know I have a thing for sociopaths
Maybe our paths
Only crossed
From the calculated moves of a so called boss
And you used me
But as the plot thickened and you bruised me
So easily
You threw me away ?
Not a single “please stay” ?
What were we doin’
Sometimes I feel like it was my fault but apparently there was nothing ever there to ruin
Like, oh. Wow.
AppetizerWritez 